And I Think to Myself…

Fourteen years ago today I walked down the aisle to Louis Armstrong singing What a Wonderful World. Hearing that soulful voice croon the words:

“I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…”

it never entered my mind that the bloom would be so short-lived.

Wedding

And yet I guess it’s not really short-lived, is it? As I looked at my kids tonight I thought about how Corey is living on in them and it made me sad and hopeful all at the same time. Those two feelings walk hand-in-hand in my head and in my heart often. Reluctant companions, tolerating one another at an uncomfortably close proximity.

I’ve been walking in a surreal fog all day. Of all the firsts I’ve faced over the past five months, this one has been the hardest.

No surprise there.

After being introduced as “man and wife” that day, we exited the church to At Last by the incomparable Etta James. The last line of that song says, “…and here we are in Heaven, for you are mine at last.” It’s almost impossibly hard to believe that one half of “us” in celebrating this anniversary in Heaven.

I have to force myself to remember that all the hope, all the promise, all the plans and dreams that accompanied our wedding and the onset of this life together aren’t lost. I look at these two precious young people and know that all that promise lives on in them.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…

9 thoughts on “And I Think to Myself…

  1. The journey you’ve walked through and continue on in…I know nothing of. But I can help carry the burden, the sorrow, the fear, the loneliness and grief in my prayers.
    Praying for you, Jayden and Abbie always, with love.

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  2. The Good Shepherd always has you in His loving arms! Praying right now as I do every day! Didn’t see the post until now but I was definitely praying for you and your kids on your anniversary. The Lord knew you needed them even more that day!
    Psalms 23:3-4 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

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  3. Comforting words from your Savior! Know that I’m here praying!
    Psalms 18:1-3a I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised…

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  4. The Lord is the only one you can truly trust at all times! Praying to Him for you!
    Psalms 40:3-4a And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust…

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