Season 2, Episode 1

It’s March 1. Today marks one year since Corey was given the initial diagnosis of cancer.  In some ways it seems like only a month has passed. In others, it seems like a decade.

I’ve become fluent in a language and adept at reading test results I never thought would be a part of my world. There are considerations now I never thought I’d have to make. Corey’s been sick this week and what I would’ve dubbed the “man flu” a year ago (likely accompanied by a snarky “Suck it up, Buttercup”) now has me checking his temperature and wondering if I should call the doctor every 30 minutes.

Welcome to our “New Normal” – I suppose.

A year ago at this point we were both feeling pretty numb. That first week crawled by in super slow motion and almost seemed like we were watching someone else’s life story unfold before us. But nope. It’s not someone else’s story. It’s ours.

Nothing anyone could have told me a year ago could have prepared me for what the past 365 days have been like. None of the appointments, none of the descriptions, none of the personal stories, could have prepared me for the whole bone marrow transplant experience, for instance. And now, post-transplant, working through all of the side effects, living with all the precautions we’re supposed to be taking, all the considerations, but without any of the benefits of the transplant (which just didn’t work, incase you missed the news) is, to be honest, kind of a bummer.

I’m not one to dwell on the “what ifs” or wallow in the “I can’t believe that didn’t work” pool, and I’m – slowly – mentally wrapping my head around living with cancer and what that looks like. I think the post-transplant fog has begun to clear and I’m beginning to see the landscape ahead of me. Without really realizing it, I think I headed into the transplant thinking, “OK, we’re at Point A. Our destination is Point B. I can see it ahead of me and, yes, it looks a little rocky, but I can see the finish line and we’re on the right track. Strap on that pack and those boots and let’s get ‘er done!”

My approach for this season though is a bit different. I feel like I’ve arrived at Base Camp and have spent the past couple weeks assimilating to the altitude and sizing up and analyzing the trails ahead. Rather than a day-hike in Yosemite or one of the trails here in the PNW, I’m on a mountainside in Kathmandu sizing up Mt. Everest. Rather than a conquering posture, I’m looking at this with a bit more reverence and humility, knowing the mountain is going to do as much to break us as we are going to do to conquer it.

I won’t lie. It’s daunting. The thought, “I have no idea what to do here, how to manage all of this!” has entered my mind more than once. But it’s in those moments that I remember that we’re not heading up this mountain alone. Not only do we have an amazing team of Sherpas around us, helping to carry the load, providing guidance, wisdom, assistance, rest, love, support and encouragement, but we know that “He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.” (Philippians 1:6) We know Who is at our right hand and in Whom we believe and Who gives us the confidence to be UNSHAKEN. So while there may not be a lot of sprinting and pushing and full-throttled “get ‘er done” moments in this season, I think I’ve come to terms with the slow, steady, sure-footed, even-paced mindset that this climb will require.

So bring it on, Season 2. I’m pretty determined not to let you break me.


I think I’ll make this my anthem for Season 2:

21 thoughts on “Season 2, Episode 1

  1. Just take each day as it comes and try not to look to far into the future. The Lord will help you get through each moment as it comes. Praying so very, very hard!
    Psalms 28:6-7 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.


  2. Comforting words from your Savior! Praying to Him right now!
    Psalms 18:1-3a I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised…


  3. God’s holding you up with His right hand! What amazing words of comfort! Praying!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Psalms 18:35-36 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.


  4. Continuing to pray!
    Psalms 130:5-6 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.


  5. The Lord promises these very words to you by the free gift of faith! Lifting up prayers right now!
    Revelation 7:16-17 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.


  6. Know that I’m here praying!
    Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.


  7. What amazing words of promise! Am here praying right now!
    Psalms 86:5-7 For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. Give ear, O LORD, unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications. In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.


  8. The Lord is always with you and His timing is always perfect! Lifting up prayers right now.
    Psalms 70:1, 5 Make haste, O God, to deliver me; make haste to help me, O LORD. (5) But I am poor and needy: make haste unto me, O God: thou art my help and my deliverer; O LORD, make no tarrying.


  9. There is only one true source of strength, the Lord! Turn to Him! Am here praying!
    Psalms 86:15-16 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant, and save the son of thine handmaid.


  10. My words are not miraculous, nor even spiritually enlightening.
    As spiritual connections go, I believe that Jesus came, forgave our sins, gave us eternal life.
    Requesting a cure is so humble; trusting in His mercy and will is divine.
    Believing that you will know the miracles of His love,
    Is the fundamental premise of God’s eternal promise.
    God bless and keep you.
    May His peace be with you and yours.


  11. The only true help comes from the Lord. Praying to Him on your behalf right now!
    Psalms 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.


  12. He is always with you! Know that I’m praying!
    Psalms 121:3-4 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.


  13. What comforting words and a special promise. Know that I’m praying!
    Psalms 121:7-8 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.


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