It’s March 1. Today marks one year since Corey was given the initial diagnosis of cancer. In some ways it seems like only a month has passed. In others, it seems like a decade.
I’ve become fluent in a language and adept at reading test results I never thought would be a part of my world. There are considerations now I never thought I’d have to make. Corey’s been sick this week and what I would’ve dubbed the “man flu” a year ago (likely accompanied by a snarky “Suck it up, Buttercup”) now has me checking his temperature and wondering if I should call the doctor every 30 minutes.
Welcome to our “New Normal” – I suppose.
A year ago at this point we were both feeling pretty numb. That first week crawled by in super slow motion and almost seemed like we were watching someone else’s life story unfold before us. But nope. It’s not someone else’s story. It’s ours.
Nothing anyone could have told me a year ago could have prepared me for what the past 365 days have been like. None of the appointments, none of the descriptions, none of the personal stories, could have prepared me for the whole bone marrow transplant experience, for instance. And now, post-transplant, working through all of the side effects, living with all the precautions we’re supposed to be taking, all the considerations, but without any of the benefits of the transplant (which just didn’t work, incase you missed the news) is, to be honest, kind of a bummer.
I’m not one to dwell on the “what ifs” or wallow in the “I can’t believe that didn’t work” pool, and I’m – slowly – mentally wrapping my head around living with cancer and what that looks like. I think the post-transplant fog has begun to clear and I’m beginning to see the landscape ahead of me. Without really realizing it, I think I headed into the transplant thinking, “OK, we’re at Point A. Our destination is Point B. I can see it ahead of me and, yes, it looks a little rocky, but I can see the finish line and we’re on the right track. Strap on that pack and those boots and let’s get ‘er done!”
My approach for this season though is a bit different. I feel like I’ve arrived at Base Camp and have spent the past couple weeks assimilating to the altitude and sizing up and analyzing the trails ahead. Rather than a day-hike in Yosemite or one of the trails here in the PNW, I’m on a mountainside in Kathmandu sizing up Mt. Everest. Rather than a conquering posture, I’m looking at this with a bit more reverence and humility, knowing the mountain is going to do as much to break us as we are going to do to conquer it.
I won’t lie. It’s daunting. The thought, “I have no idea what to do here, how to manage all of this!” has entered my mind more than once. But it’s in those moments that I remember that we’re not heading up this mountain alone. Not only do we have an amazing team of Sherpas around us, helping to carry the load, providing guidance, wisdom, assistance, rest, love, support and encouragement, but we know that “He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.” (Philippians 1:6) We know Who is at our right hand and in Whom we believe and Who gives us the confidence to be UNSHAKEN. So while there may not be a lot of sprinting and pushing and full-throttled “get ‘er done” moments in this season, I think I’ve come to terms with the slow, steady, sure-footed, even-paced mindset that this climb will require.
So bring it on, Season 2. I’m pretty determined not to let you break me.
I think I’ll make this my anthem for Season 2:
Just take each day as it comes and try not to look to far into the future. The Lord will help you get through each moment as it comes. Praying so very, very hard!
Psalms 28:6-7 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.
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❤️
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Comforting words from your Savior! Praying to Him right now!
Psalms 18:1-3a I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised…
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Praying!
Psalms 18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.
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God’s holding you up with His right hand! What amazing words of comfort! Praying!!!!!!!!!!!!
Psalms 18:35-36 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.
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Am here praying right now!
Psalms 130:1-2 Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
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Continuing to pray!
Psalms 130:5-6 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.
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Praying right now!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
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Know that I’m always praying!
Psalms 119:41 Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word.
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The Lord promises these very words to you by the free gift of faith! Lifting up prayers right now!
Revelation 7:16-17 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.
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Know that I’m here praying!
Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
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Know that I’m here praying!
Psalms 86:1-2 Bow down thine ear, O LORD, hear me: for I am poor and needy. Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my God, save thy servant that trusteth in thee.
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Continuing to pray hard!
Psalms 86:3-4 Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily. Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
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What amazing words of promise! Am here praying right now!
Psalms 86:5-7 For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. Give ear, O LORD, unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications. In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.
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The Lord is always with you and His timing is always perfect! Lifting up prayers right now.
Psalms 70:1, 5 Make haste, O God, to deliver me; make haste to help me, O LORD. (5) But I am poor and needy: make haste unto me, O God: thou art my help and my deliverer; O LORD, make no tarrying.
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There is only one true source of strength, the Lord! Turn to Him! Am here praying!
Psalms 86:15-16 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant, and save the son of thine handmaid.
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My words are not miraculous, nor even spiritually enlightening.
As spiritual connections go, I believe that Jesus came, forgave our sins, gave us eternal life.
Requesting a cure is so humble; trusting in His mercy and will is divine.
Believing that you will know the miracles of His love,
Is the fundamental premise of God’s eternal promise.
God bless and keep you.
May His peace be with you and yours.
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The only true help comes from the Lord. Praying to Him on your behalf right now!
Psalms 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
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He is always with you! Know that I’m praying!
Psalms 121:3-4 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
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Continuing to pray!
Psalms 121:5-6 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
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What comforting words and a special promise. Know that I’m praying!
Psalms 121:7-8 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
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This well is bottomless. It can never run dry! Always here praying!
Isaiah 12:2-3 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
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Continuing to pray so very hard!
Psalms 119:105-107 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep thy righteous judgments. I am afflicted very much: quicken me, O LORD, according unto thy word.
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Lifting up prayers right now!
Isaiah 25:8-9 He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces … And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.
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The Lord is with you right now, lifting you up, giving you strength! And I’m here praying for you!
Isaiah 40:28-29 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
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Always keep your eyes on the Lord! He’s always there for you! Praying for you right now!
Isaiah 40:30-31 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Keep your eyes on the only true source of peace and strength. He is with you always! Continuing to lift up prayer!
Isaiah 26:3-4 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.
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The Lord is truly holding your hand right now! How can we even comprehend this? Always here praying!
Isaiah 41:10, 13 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (13) For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
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No matter what’s going on, the Lord sees and He’s with you always! What amazing words of comfort! He’ll get you through whatever you have to face. Praying right now!
Isaiah 43:1-3a But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel…
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Continuing to lift up prayers!
Psalms 4:1 Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.
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He lives! He rose from the dead! Praying that you will always keep your eyes on Him!
Job 19:25-27 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.
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The Lord hears and answers in His own way and in His own time. Am here praying right now.
Psalms 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
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The Lord is always with you! Praying right now!
Psalms 40:2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
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Know that I’m here praying!
Psalms 40:3-4a And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust…
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Turn to the Lord for help in time of need. He alone can deliver you, in His own way and in His own time. Always here praying!
Psalms 40:11, 13 Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. (13) Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me.
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You’re in the Lord’s thoughts right now! He is helping! Lifting up prayer right now!
Psalms 40:16-17 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The LORD be magnified. But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
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Praying right now!
1 Peter 2:4-5 To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.
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